Over the last two weeks, I've watched my high school senior juggle...
... not juggle in the circus clown way, but juggle a laundry list of responsibilities, under less than optimal conditions. Following an accident, he's been without self powered transportation, which has meant that this has entered into my priority list as well.
He has finished up with marching band season, and begun concert and jazz band rehearsals for concerts as early as mid December.
He has made application to his choices of colleges and application to their scholarship programs.
He has maintained his high grades in his two high school classes and his two college level classes, taken at a local higher education center.
He continues to go to Boy Scouts to help with the younger scouts.
He has worked for many hours on his Senior Experience project, which has varying deadlines along the semester calendar.
And what brought me to this thought process, is that last night, I drove him to church for practice, as he plays for the contemporary worship service at our church. I took my knitting, which developed a 'kink', but that's another story for a different time. At a time when his calendar is so very full, he could easily call and beg off of this service. I love the fact that he does not see it as an obligation, but as a service, a giving of his talent and his time to his church. I am pleased that this has a place in his priorities.
Which brings me to my priorities.
I think that we all have to work hard at setting our busy life schedules in priority order.
And I'll admit to both having a personal struggle with that since budget cuts took my job
and to weighting my priorities heavily in the direction of my duties to my family.
Having done odd jobs around my family's needs for years, then discovering all kinds of things about myself
in the process of working again, I miss the structure... I miss the challenges... and I miss the social interface that the job provided. Facing a true internal need to find a replacement for that is a struggle.
I'm not sure why I'm struggling with it... but I am.
I suspect it's part of the plan for my life... and sometimes, we're not supposed to understand that.
Just ahead of me, I see a time when the entirety of my parenting duties are relegated to the 'support' function that is now in place with my older children.
I am not sad or sorry that these parenting days are numbered. I made a choice years ago and I've enjoyed the days from then till now. What dictates 'success' for me, in parenting, is that my children should, indeed, fledge and be successful on their own. I'll admit to finding great joy in watching them make life choices and moving forward. I do not regret the time I've given them... I see the results.
But it does bring me to a time of pondering re-prioritizing and figuring out for the first time in many years a more self centered focus. As new adventures await me, I only hope that I can manage as well as my kid!